It’s time to end this relationship

Breakup

Relationship can be healed, but with these kind of signs it’s not possible to fix it any more. So it is better to move on and look for a more appropriate partner:

 

  1. Love becomes hate. It doesn’t matter what kind of reason it is. No relationship is based on hate, but on love, so it is time to end it.
  2. Constant blame and shame. Care and respect is also part of the relationship, but a broken one puts the partner down or blaming them, that it is all their fault.
  3. Abuse. No type of the abuse should be tolerated. Neither physically nor emotionally.
  4. Blame. You are blamed for everything. Everything is your fault.
  5. Betrayals. It’s not only sexual betrayals, but also emotional one. You don’t feel secure.
  6. No plans with the significant other. Your partner is pushing you out of her/his life.
  7. Little communication. Communication is the key to get closer, but if your significant other only talks to you, when it is necessary, it’s time to end the relationship then.
  8. The relationship is secret. You are not mentioned on her Facebook, instagram etc.
  9. You get hurt constantly. You are misunderstood, hurt and angry all the time.
  10. You are not a priority. Your significant partner is always busy. Busy with friends. Busy with family. Busy with work. Busy with himself or herself. If she or he wants you, he or she will come to you, although he or she lives thousands of kilometers far away from you.


How to find out, whether she (still) loves you

love, relationship

First of all I want to clarify, what love is, so that you know, that it isn’t lust, infatuation or something else. Love is an emotional bond and intimacy, that can be started by sexual desire or attraction. A desire of being together. That’s why, it leads to a long term relationship. It make you want to fight for the relationship instead of letting it fall apart. Now, you know what love is, it is good to know, whether she (still) loves you. There are many reasons, why people aare in a relationship, but if you want to be in a romantic relationship, it is a good idea to pay attentions to these signs, whether she (still) loves you:

  1. She wants to spend time with you. Although there are other duties like work, school, family etc. She still makes free time to spend time with you, because it makes her happy to be around you.
  2. She is interested in your life. When she is interested in your. She also asks you, how your day was.
  3. She includes you. Whatever she wants to do, she asks you, whether you are satisfied with her decision. Compromises is a big thing.
  4. Less love and affection. She made you feel happy and loved, but it’s getting less.
  5. Preocuppied during dates. It seems like your partner is only physically present, but not emotionally.
  6. Silence. You could talk about anything and everything, but now you always have to start the conversation.
  7. Blaming. She starts failing at things and will blame you for her failures.
  8. Spending time with others. There is a different with having an own life and no interest like going out with her friends for some hours or constantly spending more work hours till 10pm.
  9. No explanations. It’s like you are not the time and effort, so it’s also a sign of no respect.
  10. Not looking at you. It’s not about gazing into each other’s eyes for hours. It’s more about being interested and emotional connection, but now she doesn’t do it any more.
  11. Not talking about the past. Talking about the good moments, you’ve spent together, is a good way to strengthen the bond of your relationship, but she doesn’t talk about it any more, so she is not interested in strengthen the relationship. So it’s a bad sign.
  12. She doesn’t make you feel good about yourself.
  13. No happyness. It might be, that it is your partner’s intention to make you feel that way to end the relationship mutually.

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How to get over your ex

broken heart

There are many reasons, why you broke up, but it usually comes with increasing stress and fights in the relationship. So after breaking up, it is a good idea not to contact your ex for while to get emotionally distant from it.

There comes a phase, where you think, you might try again and work things out or doing couple therapy or something like that. You might even get sad and everything reminds you of your ex. If you want to get back to your ex, you will improve yourself in terms of appearance and behaviors, but if you don’t want to get to your ex back, here is my favorite way to get over the ex. Simply just find another girlfriend. In best case a better one then before. I’ve asked many couples, where they’ve met each other.

Here are there replies: in a tram, on a festival, through friends, in a bar, in a club etc. So there are many places, where you are able to find your significant other. To find a girlfriend as soon as possible you better to go out and actively look for her or even change the country to search like I did. Last but not least, speed dating is an efficient way to meet many ladies in a short time.

Here is another article, that might be interesting for you: How to avoid break ups

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How to keep a relationship

relationship

For sure love is very important for a romantic relationship, but it still not enough. It requires more effort from both partners. Here are some of the many ways to keep a relationship:

  1. Positive/negative ratio                                                                                                          In order to have a solid relationship the amount of positive experiences have to outweigh the negative one. There is a special ratio for that and it is 4:1. So if there is a conflict, which is negative, there should be 4 positive experiences afterwards, before a new negative experience comes in. So, it is a good idea to focus on the positive. Think positive and talk positive like I’m happy to come home in a clean house.
  2. Keep the relationship fresh                                                                                              You will get bored after a while, but there is a way to keep it alive by constantly trying new activities together. Addtionally, it also can be couple rituals like dating on every saturday or talking half an hour before going to bed.
  3. Take the relationship easy                                                                                            When your partner says something bothering, just respond it with a joke instead of becoming defensive.
  4. Common goal                                                                                                                   Being a team is good way to strengthen the bond between you. So both of you should make a future plan, that everybody is happy about.
  5. Respect your partner’s privacy                                                                                       The paradox of the relationship, that we want closeness and space. So the solution is to find a balance between it.
  6. AAA                                                                                                                                           It stands for apology, affection and action. If you do something, that annoys your partner, you can do these 3 things and calm them down. First to tell your partner, that you are sorry, that you’ve hurt them. Second is being affectionate like giving a hug or kiss and the last one is to promise to not repeat again.
  7. Support your partner                                                                                                    Helping them to achieve their goal is one way to support your partner, but there are many other ways to do it like listening to your partner, giving compliments, giving them necessary information etc.
  8. Open up yourself                                                                                                                  It’s a key to emotional intimacy. Tell your partner, how you feel, your fears, needs and wants, so your partner has got a chance to satisfy you.
  9. Showing your love                                                                                                              Telling your partner, that you love them is good. Additionally, show your love is better. For example by making breakfast for your partner or buy a little surprise gift while shopping etc.
  10. Fight fair                                                                                                                                   It’s not about winning the battle. It’s more about compromising, so that both partners are satisfied.

Check out other related articles: Does he/she still loves me? To stay up to date, just like my Facebook Fanpage: The Doan’s Blog. Check out my most shared article: International Money.

International money

International money

International money

Wherever you travel, when you transfer money internationally, there will be 2 types of fees. The 1st one is the oversea transfer fee and the 2nd one is the exchange rate fee. With this special service, you can save up to 80% of those fees and it is pretty fast. It supports up to 46 currencies and more currencies are soon to come. Here are some examples USD, EUR, AUD, CAD, GBP, SGD etc. I’m using it and it took 2 business days from Germany to Vietnam to transfer it.

Bank transfer money

I’ve transferred with the regular bank 500€ to Vietnam and the fee was 36,55€, which is about 7,31% fee!

If I do it with TransferWise, it will cost me only 7,39€, which is only 1,48% fee.

transferwise

You can check on this website, how much the fee will be, if you send money from one country to another country. There you can see, that it is significantly lower, than any other money transfers. So in this example, you save about 30€ for every 500€ bank transfer from Germany to Vietnam. On top of that, they give you a better exchange rate! At that time according to Google, it is only 25,821.59! It’s not only cheaper than banks, but also cheaper than Paypal or exchange offices. You can save even more money compared to Western Union, which charges about 10%, because of its high exchange rate fee.

Update 25th May 2018

Now they start offering a multicurrency bank account in $, £ and €! No fees! With a MasterCard debit card. Very handy while traveling, because you can use it worldwide with the advantage of real exchange rate, so you also can save money while traveling and with the TransferWise app, you can see in real time your expenditures.

It is also very easy and fast to open this multicurrency bank account, because everything happens online. You don’t need to go anywhere to register for it. Just upload your ID and that’s it. You will get your debit card within a week and I get an US American bank account, Australian bank account at the same time etc.

By clicking on this link you will get the first 500GBP transfer for free. Check it out: Transferwise.

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Difficult relationship

conflict

There are many ups and downs in a relationships. How you handle conflicts in a relationship is crucial to keep it stable. So here are some tips. Statements, that you can tell your partner.

  1. What do you need from me?                                                                                       There are many miscommunications, because men and women are different, so they communicate differently. This question is a good opportunity to let your partner open up to you, so that you know your partners wants and needs to be able to satisfy and supporting them.
  2. Make an excuse                                                                                                                Even when you don’t know, that you did anything, that upset her, you still have to say sorry. To avoid making her upset in the future, it is for sure better to understand, what you did wrong to her to not repeat it again. Saying sorry is also to admit your faults to let your partner know, that you care for their feeling.
  3. Appreciation                                                                                                                       Show your gratitude, when they do something nice for you. Let your partner feel, that they are a priority in your life.
  4. I’m proud of you                                                                                                                 You are there for your partner. Whatever challenges your partner is facing, you should be there for them.
  5. I love you                                                                                                                           Show your love as often as possible, because women don’t want to hear and see it once, but many times even every day. Relationship is also commitment, so you have to make efforts.

Signs you should marry this person

marriage

Here some of the many signs, that the person you are with is the one.

  1.  it is easy to talk about everything. It also can be deep conversation or even no conversation at all.
  2. You have the same goal like city to live in, marriage, kids, moving to a new place, changing your career etc.
  3. You want to be with this person. Sure it is possible to live by yourself, but you prefer not to, because it makes you happy being around your partner.
  4. You can reveal your true self like weaknesses, personal situation, habits, wants and needs etc. without being judged, because they accept everything of you.
  5. You overcome conflicts and fights without coming to the breaking point. Instead the relationship gets deepened.

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Signs of a good relationship

Signs of a healthy, long lasting relationship
Signs of a healthy, long lasting relationship

Relationship takes work. It takes effort of both sides to make it last. Here are some indicators, that your relationship will last hopefully forever.

You argue
It’s good to have your own opinion instead of always saying yes. If you don’t argue at all, it also can mean, that you don’t care about your relationship any more.
You don’t hide your flaws
You can show your true self without hiding yourself. Loving someone is not only about admiring their strengths, but also accepting and not judging their weaknesses.
You communicate
Being open is important to be able to satisfy and make your partner happy. That’s why relationships aren’t not based on assumption, but on communication. No topic is taboo. Being open, honest and direct is also good to sort out many problems.
Maintaining identity
It’s nice to please your partner, but it doesn’t mean, that you have to sacrifice everything for your partner. Don’t forget about your needs, that it also has to be fulfilled to be happy, because every partner in the relationship has to be happy.
You support each other
Helping your partner to achieve their goal instead of hindering it. Jealousy and envious is not right, because you care for your partner, so you want him or her to succeed. Standing side by side.
Being in love inspires you to be the best version of yourself, so that you are able to satisfy more of your partner’s needs.
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